the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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