So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
