Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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