He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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