We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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