I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
