I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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