i wish starbucks made bloody marys
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
