what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
