About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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