new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
