By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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