Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just want to make out with him forever
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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