Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
