Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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