we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
