i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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