we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize