Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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