what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
