So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize