Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
