I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
