I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was not drunk enough for that final.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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