what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
