I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
