your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
