Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize