Operation Purity has been aborted
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
