great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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