there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
