kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
