yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
