So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
