You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
