Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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