you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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