The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
