and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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