I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
