as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize