Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
