At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
