too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
