I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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