I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize