Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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