I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
