dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
