around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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