I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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