ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
