and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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