party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
