Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
