my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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