We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
