For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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