apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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