you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
