is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
