Tell her she can't have a vagina
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
