i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
