Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she looked like the before picture.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
