There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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