i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
