I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We got so high we made milksteak
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
