If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I look better un-naked...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
