I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My liver just broke up with me...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
