I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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