My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize